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Cult of Valerie

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Mea culpa [19 Feb 2007|01:05pm]

Dear Wowieologists,

I must make a public atonement. For I said I would call wowieann this past Sunday to go Geocaching and I was too lazy to leave the house.


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Time for a "Come-To-WOWIEANN" Meetin' [28 Mar 2005|12:18am]

[ mood | goofy ]

Sinners in the Hands of a Spiffy wowieann

"Do not taunt Happy Fun Val." (Liber Wowieann, 8)

In this verse is threatened the vengeance of WOWIEANN on the wicked unbelievers, who were WOWIEANN's visible people, and who lived under the means of grace, but who, notwithstanding all WOWIEANN's wonderful works towards them, remained filled with sloth, having no posts in them. Under all the cultivations of LJ, they brought forth naught; as in the two years preceding this text. So might we all know the punishment and scorn to which these wicked unbelievers shall be exposed.

That all may know that thou, whose name is wowieann, that thou art the most spiffy in all the realm.

-- as delivered by the Right Reverend and Revelator shkspr13,
High Haughty Muckety-Muck of the Revivalist Church of Wowieology

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I love you! [06 Jul 2003|05:49am]

I just wanted to say, that cult-wise, I have been a drifter.

I dabbled in the Church of Euthanasia.

I though about joining the OTO.

I've even held a membership in the Camarilla for three years.

But now...

I've come home.

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Question [27 Jun 2003|09:13am]

Oh great wowieann,

Today instead of getting my usual Diet Dr Pepper, the machine gave me the regular Dr Pepper. I must concede, regular DP is in the category of ASS. However, I must know: Do you also frown upon the Diet DP drinking?

I shall sacrifice many small coupons to your holy name until I receive a sign.

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[26 Jun 2003|02:56am]

Y'know, I've given it a week, and I hate to say it, but I just don't think I'm cut out to be a cult leader.

Sorry, kids. I'm hereby announcing my conversion. I am now a member of the Branch Plinkonians!
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[22 Jun 2003|04:56pm]

[ mood | preachy ]

You people are going to be so sorry you ever made me a cult leader. :)

I think I will deliver a message today, it being Sunday, the most unholy of all week-days in the Church of Wowieology, for on Sundays wowieann must say good-bye to her friends and return to her more banal existence.

I may lose some of you on this. Today's message is pretty harsh, and should serve to separate the wheat from the chaff, so to speak. It is taken from the First Book of Beverages, chapter one, verses 1-6.

1 Thou shalt not drink of the Kool-aid, for Kool-Aid and cults Do Not Mix. 2 However, if the Kool-Aid be of the hard-to-find lemon-lime variety, then thou mayest of the Kool-Aid partake. Just be sure that thou preparest it thyself. 3 Neither shall thou imbibest of the Dr. Pepper, for it is foul, and nasty, and tastesth like cough-syrup. 4 However, if thy Dr. Pepper is procured from yon Soda Fountain, then of it thou mayest partake, for anything that cometh from a Soda Fountain cannot be All Bad.

5 That having been said, if thou findest thyself in a place where wowieann is not, or if wowieann be looking the other way, then thou mayest of a non-Soda-Fountain Dr. Pepper partake. 6 Until such a time as wowieann decides that she is omnipresent, that is.
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FYI [21 Jun 2003|06:17am]

[ mood | silly ]

Uh, guys - that Kool-Aid over there in the corner? Don't drink it.
It's ass. :P Please trust me on this. :)

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[21 Jun 2003|06:01am]

[ mood | touched ]

You...made me a cult. I don't know whether to laugh, or...laugh. plinko, you are insane. :)

That didn't stop me from printing out the "user info" page and tacking it to my bulletin board, though. :)

This was such a cool thing to come home to today. My own cult. Wait until I tell Shawn! I'll bet he doesn't have his own cult...

Do not taunt Happy Fun Me. Damn Straight. :)

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[20 Jun 2003|06:03pm]

[ mood | silly ]

I'm the cult of!
I'm the cult of!
I'm the cult of!
I'm the cult of!

"Ask not what your LJ can do for you..." *guitar riff*
"The only thing we have to fear is here, it's MILF!"

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Welcome to Wowieology [18 Jun 2003|09:00am]

[ mood | savage ]

Dear World,

We love Valerie. But, in order to be a proper cult, we must have great disdain for another group. And perhaps even work up to a jihad! Any suggestions?

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